What a cancer photographer wants to leave to his son is a world where important people can live a little

Shake hands with new people

In the interview, Mr. Hatano's intention, "I want to have a good view and want to go to various places as my body moves," I went to the BUZFEED JAPAN office on the 21st floor of Akasaka Mitsuke, Tokyo.

When he picked up the company's lobby, Mr. Hatano, who had a cane, gave his hand, saying, "Thank you."The camera is hanging on his neck.

"Since I get sick, everyone has shaken to new people. I used to exchange business cards before."

The trigger was that he met Yoshiko Kimura (47), a painter who had had ovarian cancer at the age of 17 at the end of January.After talking to Kimura, who had lived without talking to anyone, she said, Kimura said:

"For the first time, someone who understands me has appeared. But I will lose such a person soon."

After hearing that, Mr. Hatano was surprised.

"I thought Kimura seemed sad and honest. I am meeting various people now, but everyone is kind and good. I am sad for those people. That means that.After noticing, I started shaking hands and hugging. I may not forget to leave an impression. "

34歳で突きつけられた病

It was around the end of the summer of 2017 that I felt something wrong with my body.She felt painful on her spine and hips with her whole body, but she thought she was a hips.Even if you go to orthopedic or internal medicine, you do not know the cause, and only painkillers and compresses are prescribed.

In November, when he was unable to endure the pain, he finally took an MRI at a general hospital and was told, "There is a tumor on the spine."Hatano, who heard the results alone, said, "It's quite a late state that the transition to the spine is in a state of state. In some cases, it is about three months to six months."

I cried overnight, thinking of my eldest son and wife, who were just one and a half years old at the time.

"The shock was shocked," Hey, seriously, "but usually, if you say it's about three months to six months, you would think it would be short? I thought it was long."

Why.

"I couldn't stand this pain for three months, I thought it was painful every day and I couldn't stand it. Even if I died now, I decided to die as soon as possible and commit suicide. November.In the hunting season, I have a shotgun, so if I die, I have insurance that will cost about 30 million yen. I decided to commit suicide as soon as possible. "

It was the power of medical care that struggled with it.

"The first orthopedic surgery is a good doctor, but I didn't understand the feeling that I wanted to die. I just wanted to cure my wife and mother, so I want to be too painful and free from this pain.I didn't hear my thoughts and I didn't understand it. I was lonely. I wanted to be released from this loneliness and pain.

The palliative care medical treatment was completely different from the previous response.The palliative care doctors and nurses listened to Mr. Hatano.

"I heard the story of my wife, not just me, but it was very helpful to hear and understand the story. I was able to control the medicine and control pain. Above all, I think he pulled me back because I wanted to die because there were people who listen to the pain and complaints of my heart. "

However, another suffering will attack Mr. Hatano.

Patients are not only sick but also afflicted by the behavior of others

In December 2017, he wrote an article on his blog on his blog, saying, "Be aware of cancer."As long as he works freelance, he has to let his business partners know about his illness, and want to tell his relatives and friends.I thought I wouldn't have to repeat the same story, but I couldn't stop the phone that I didn't expect.

"I was in the hospital, so I couldn't get out right away, so I went to a space where I could call, but I talked for 30 minutes or 40 minutes, and in the meantime, I got a catchphone. Call charges were less than 2,000 yen per month.Is over 30,000 yen. "

"And most of the contents of the phone are irresponsible words such as" Miracles will happen "and" do your best. "Everyone knows that" do your best "in depressed patients. For cancer patients.There are many NG words, but they don't know much about cancer, so they speak such words. It's irresistible to take time, pay for stress. People who want to come to visit.There was a lot, but it was just annoying. "

It was January this year that I received a definitive diagnosis with multiple myeloma, a type of blood cancer.The attending physician said, "If you treat it, your life expectancy will be about three years, but I think you can go for five years."

The tumor on the chest compressed the lower body and caused pain on the back and feet, but was hospitalized for a month to provide radiation therapy, and the symptoms had improved dramatically.

"It was much more extended than when I was told for three or six months for the first time, and the pain was gone, so I decided to think about what I could do in a short time.I got a lot of extra suffering from the people. The underlying of that is good intentions and "I think it's good."

The first of the unpleasant words is "do your best" or "miracles happen."

"I can't do my best, and there's no miracle. It's good to believe in miracles and treat it, but the last thing I'm waiting for is desperate. It's often said that I'm sure to be cured, but a professor at a university hospital.What do you intend to say that someone who doesn't know anything about cancer to heal if you say that you won't heal. But I think it's good. "

Alternative therapy, health foods, and dietary therapy are still recommended.There is no scientific basis for cancer.

"Someone who recommends that kind of thing has to blame the family after the patient died," I refused the treatment I recommended. "I would pay 80,000 yen if I wrote it. "I thought it was a ridiculous guy because the product came out on the blog of other people, but if you think about it, you will get cancer.Is cut off. I am sad that this person is also doing it. "

"In an era when one in two people gets cancer, most people become a patient or care, and only healthy and lonely people are not involved in cancer.I don't know, I don't know what to call when someone gets cancer. So I decided to let everyone know, including prejudice and misunderstanding. "

Why do you send it even if you are beaten or uncomfortable

Mr. Hatano began to send out not only blogs, but also serials on child -rearing sites and on SNS such as Twitter and Facebook.He sometimes posts dozens of a day.We plan to write three books from publishers and one for self -publishing.

Why do you do it until you spend time with your personal fun and your family?

"Because patients with terminal cancer are dead, I don't need money, I don't want to eat well, I want to be popular, and I want to help people. Maybe that's the bad thing.It may be like destroying, but I just want to do something good. "

Especially the time spent time is the exchange in a question box that answers the reader's anonymous questions.

The readers who recommend a non -scientific diet, "It's annoying," and carefully answers those who are involved, saying, "It's rude to say that it's annoying to those who recommend it in good faith."

"It's difficult to say good intentions, and many people are suffering without gratitude from friends and relatives, so it makes sense to say that humans who have the power to speak are standing on the arrow.Not all good intentions are annoying, solicitation and referrals sometimes go to ruin. It's clear, it's annoying. "

In recent years, a vegetarian who was hunting Hatano has been slandered as "self -employed" and "causal retribution".

"It's not a word to say to those who have been cancered or suffering because the principle is different from yourself. If you refuse to solicit religion, you will be released exactly the same dialogue. One in two Japanese cancer.It is a very major illness. "

"I have a lot of chiki medical care and unpleasant words, but I can't say it back. So I want to show a sample that will be resolute. It's easy to ignore, but then everyone looks.Not. I wrote it to make this annoying act aware of the "good intentions". "

What I want to teach my son

It is for the wife and son who live even after they are gone, even though they are already large burdensome.

"For example, 20 years ago, medical practice did not announce to those who got cancer, but now it is normal to announce it. There are various failures and accumulation. Cancer is now an elderly person.There are many, but I'm relatively young, I can write and take pictures. I want to make society a little better. "