Lifehacker Communication skills of articles done by Lifehacker LifeHacker LifeHacker "being good at listening"

A friend sent a long article about the breakup with his lover, his boss, or his sadness. how can he or she listen to each other?

Before the popularity of the epidemic, we knew that face-to-face communication had something that words and phone calls could not fill.

Even if you want to comfort important people, you are not willing to lose the subtle sense of language that you have face to face, such as looking at each other, nodding sympathetically, or just snuggling on the spot.

On the other hand, it also has the unique advantage of text, that is, with text dialogue, you can write ideas into articles without being interrupted or distracted.

In addition, as a listener, you can spend more time creating thoughtful responses.

Maybe you can muster up the courage to write what you can't say to your face.

Even if there are unique barriers to digital communication, the knack of being good at listening will hardly change.

When someone wants to express their feelings, it is recommended that everyone read how to become a good listener.

Next, here are some tips for becoming a good listener in text communication.

Practice reflex hearing.

I have already explained the practice of reflex listening (trans-listening).

The secret is not to return each other's words as if they were parrots, but to change or reinterpret them.

Dr Travis Bradberry, co-author of Emotional Intelligence2.0, explained: "We should show that we use our own language to absorb information."

In addition, according to the need, it is also good to use your own language to express how the other person feels.

Sarah Rice, a psychotherapist, gave Bustle an example: "it seems that you have really experienced a difficult and aggrieved thing."

Through this expression, we can not only show what the other party said, but also show that the other party's way of expression is also well accepted.

Not to react, but to "respond."

The advantage of having a dialogue through text is that the other person will convey his or her thoughts to the end before we instinctively ask questions, swallow breath, or cheat.

We also have time to respond thoughtfully, such as reacting without impulse, asking follow-up questions, or figuring out what the other person feels.

If you listen to each other and don't know how to reply, write it down below and you should be able to deal with it rather than react.

This is an important part of reflex hearing, and it is also a common method.

Reflect each other's feelings in the style of the text

Indeed, emails and text messages don't even know the tone of each other's voice and body language.

However, if the other person suddenly notices the use of perfect punctuation, it is not appropriate to reply with emoticons.

Reply with a longer article, can not only show close to each other, but also reply with a short article, will not create a serious atmosphere and bring peace of mind to the other party.

As a way to contrast with each other's feelings, reflect the text style of the other person directly in the reply here.

Re-read each other's article before replying.

Thinking carefully about texting over and over again may put pressure on friends, but face-to-face conversation won't take that much time.

Wait 30 seconds before sending a reply.

Not only can you appease the rhythm of the conversation, but you can also confirm whether you can write all the things you want to write, or whether you have missed the important points that the other person is trying to convey.

If you can't make a phone call, try taking voice notes.

If you are using a mobile phone of the same brand as the other person, you should be able to send voice notes to each other.

Voice notes are a secret weapon of high quality "emotional suction" for people who are not good at writing about their thoughts and feelings.

Voice notes can not only speak uninterrupted like e-mail, but also express feelings in voice like a call. In addition, you can re-record as many times as you need.

Manage each other's expectations

Even at work or while driving, friends may express their feelings in the textbook when their attention is always falling because of fatigue.

At such times, convey the physical and mental state of this side to the other party and let them know that it is not intentionally ignored.

If necessary, consider telling them: "I have read the email, but it will take a few hours to get a firm reply."

Please always be transparent.

Avoid reacting only with emoticons.

Come back with a heart symbol in my message, I am very sad, I am very happy. What does this heart-shaped symbol mean?

If you only react with emoticons, you will rely too much on the interpretation of the recipient of the message, so forget it.

Convey the feelings of being close to each other

No matter how you listen to each other, maybe the other person just needs to be on their side and let them listen to them.

Even if you can't respond perfectly through the textbook, you can convey the feelings of being close to each other.

Sometimes (rather, in most cases) you will find several changes in the expression "you are so hard".

Source: Amazon